| So it's August 1st of 2008, and I'm honestly not quite sure of where the last year went.... a year ago while I was still living in the aftershock of the last Harry Potter book and so stoked for my senior year of high school... any underclassmen that read this, or even any of you 2009 seniors, it really is the fastest year of your life. So stay ahead of your studies, apply early, and start saving up because before you know it, you'll end up like me... ridiculously nervous and ridiculously excited to leave the comfort of our old rickety Oak Harbor High and step into the Real World.... no, not the television show because that's probably the furthest from actuality as you can get... I'm seventeen and come September 20-21 (depending on if I get an on-campus job or not... anyone wanna pinkie promise me for good luck?), I'll be moving out of my house to 333 Ridgeway Omega on the Western Washington University Campus...I just got the letter telling me my assignment and we've got a lounge, a fireplace, foosball table, and a PIANO in our building... so I'm pretty excited... I'm moving in with the beautiful Alexandrea MacIndoe, my old tennis partner, fellow english nerd, and good friend. It's 134 sq. feet and we're currently negotiating how many shoes she'll bring vs. how many books I bring so that we'll actually have some living space too... I'm pretty stoked because there aren't many people in this world I can discuss the morality/immorality of Shakespeare's characters and the emotional impact men can have on the beautifully crafted women of Jane Austen... quizzing each other on the magical world of Harry Potter while fighting over who gets to marry Edward Cullen... I know Alex and I are going to have a lot(maybe too much) to talk about, that is when we're not gushing over how much we love Love LOVE music... And even though I know I'll drive her crazy practicing my clarinet and staying up late writing/recording songs onto my laptop, I still can't wait... Or can I? I have no idea... because even though there's so much to look forward to, there's almost too much to leave behind. I'll start with my wonderful family... split up and growing increasingly smaller every minute. My father's down somewhere near Japan sailing along on his second deployment in the last two years (since he transferred ships after his last one)... my brother Randy's living with my Aunt and cousin down in Fresno working hard and being his awesome self, calling and texting me constantly showing silmultaneously how silly he is and how much he loves me at the same time (not to mention constantly asking if he needs to come up here and asking who's butt he needs to kick) while my other brother Mark is in his last year of college at UC Irvine..., so right now it's just my mom, my brother, and me... oh and my adorable dog Jackson Cedric Beltran.... whom I love to death... but I don't know how my mom and little brother are gonna work her schedule with him entering high school... needing rides to football practice(hopefully- I'm trying to convince him to join that or tennis), and band events, with no other driver, no one to help with the laundry, to walk the dog.... to play my beautiful piano so it doesn't become dusty and unused... like most filipino pianos fall victim to... who's gonna help my mom learn how to use the computer? who's gonna make sure my brother has good lighting when he's drawing his comic books? who's going to turn off TFC and the Disney channel when they both fall asleep on the couches... who's gonna cover them up with blankets and make sure they don't fall asleep with their glasses on?....
As much as I'm worried about them, I know they'll be okay... but I have no idea what I'm going to do without them... I don't know what I'm gonna do when they're not there doing the same for me... Of course I won't be far away... but the nostalgia nerve in me is oversensitive when it comes to this kind of thing... I'm hoping they both wake up Sundays in time to make it to church... I wonder who I'm going to go to church with now... On to more amazing people I'll miss terribly... My friends... my amazingly funny, ridiculously silly, and crazy overprotective, loving, teasing, tickling friends... of course the brilliantly addictive inventions of facebook and myspace will make it much easier to keep in touch, but a virtual Superpoke hug will never be the same as the warmth and comfort of an actual one from a true friend... or even the occassional Superpoke slap when they (or I) need it. (Although I wanna get a lightsaber so I can make the same argument when people USE THE FORCE on me =P). My choir friends, my band friends, my school friends, my church friends, my family friends, my town friends, my Poway friends and the kids I babysit and call my friends... they're all so dear to me and I'll miss them so much. I won't see them everyday, and even though I've been complaining about too many people knowing me and too many people knowing TOO much about me in this town, I'll really miss walking into a room and seeing people smile and hug me like they've known me all their lives... I'm moving again... and I know it won't be so bad... but there are still so many people I love that I'm leaving behind. My boyfriend... Patrick James McArthur... sweet and adorable, smart and entertaining, gentle and kind. I'm leaving him behind. We've talked and we're gonna try to stay together while I'm off at college, and maybe in a year he'll join me at Western, otherwise he'll go to WSU or UW and be an architect. But I know it'll be harder than we'll anticipate. He's been off at camp(and Creation) for the past month and I miss him... there haven't been many phone calls, and none of them have been very long, and even facebook and myspace weren't accessible... I wanna be smart about it... something I rarely am in relationships, but I don't want to do something I'll regret. My best friends are my confidants and just tell me to pray about it and that it's ultimately my decision. Mr. Carey told me we'd try and we'd fail and it wouldn't be either of our faults and if we needed to, just to stay single and wait for a year. My mom ( and my brother Mark I guess) never really liked him, which breaks my heart. My mom thinks I should break up with him before the summer ends... My parents opinions mean the world to me. I just want to make the right choice for the both of us... I really missed him this summer... I don't wanna spend all my time at college missing him. But I don't want to spend my time alone. I kind of wish I was in the grade I should be in for my age, and not have to leave... I kind of wish I stayed in Skagit for a while to save money and not have to leave... I kind of wish I was a bum and didn't get into my dream school and live off my parents for the rest of my life and not have to leave... I kind of just wish with all my heart that in the end I didn't have to leave. But this is the next step... and regardless of how ready I am, how young I am, and how many books and teddy bears I'm leaving behind in my room.... it's going to happen. Of course there are relationships I'm not worried about, like the one between my absolutely Lovely best friend Emily Hale. Gorgeous and green and true, we're friends for life and sisters in Christ forever, and I know we'll be okay. Kayla Beers, Chelsea Marriott, Rachel Dexter, Kaelyn Finley, Brianna Finley... you all fit here too, with special places in my heart I know are shaped for you. Aaron Pearson, the first guy to ever show me some guys are not that bad and in fact some are very sweet, I will never forget, will always be at the top of my phone list(and not just because it's in alphabetical order), and one of my go-to's for everything and anything. Most of these people I'm in long-distance friendships already... but the love has never changed, so I know we'll be okay. I doubt anyone in the world will ever read all that, my apologies for being overly verbose, nostalgic and maybe not so eloquent... but I got the letter I've been waiting for telling me where I'm going to be living which kind of made it all real for me. I've got a new mailing address guys... and in a little less than two months, I'm moving in... I've grown really comfortable in this town, and even though on occassion there are a couple awkward run-ins with people who don't particularly feel comfortable around me anymore, I'll still miss it. I can't believe it's almost time. I can't believe it's real. I can't believe I'm going to college... me? Marinel? that crazy band/choir/HarryPotter/Twilight nerd down the street that spends too much time laughing, dancing, and singing at random times and paints her face at every football game? that girl with the wildcat pants who seems to constantly be hurting herself? the girl who's constanly trying to get people to come to multicultural club and refuge club and St. Augustine's? yeah... that was me... and it's still a part of me. Now I'm gonna be the girl who plays the clarinet/keyboard too loud/too much, hogs the lounge piano, sings/dances randomly in the hallways, paints her face blue at the games... tries to get people to join FASA(Fil-Am Student Association) and come with her to church so she's not alone.... ....actually... that's still kind of the same... maybe I won't be so different after all... but the thing is, I'll be doing it as a college student... Maybe it won't change much... maybe it'll make all the difference... But I'm nervous and anxious at the same time and I know I've got this brilliant opportunity in front of me with so many good memories to look back on. I've been very blessed in my life. I'm so thankful for the people I have/had in my life. I swear, I am the most spoiled person in the world..... My Lord Jesus Christ has always been by my side. Every person He's blessed me with has taught me something, every relationship I've been in taught me something- one brought me into Refuge club, one brought me into Living Word, one has just always been there praying for me and rooting me on all the time, and it definitely goes both ways. God has been such a big influence and He's just given me so much. I know He's given me all I need to be successful in this world and I know He wouldn't test me with something I couldn't win. I can do anything with Him by my side and in my heart and I know I'll be okay. I'll never stop praying for the people I love that I'm leaving behind, and I know that He will bless them as our life journeys continue on. I'm ready to take the next step on the metaphorical staircase of my life... the ups and downs, the trips and stumbles, the triumphs and the Rocky dance /inspirational music that plays when you finally reach the top... *sigh... I know I have someone up there who not only likes me, but loves me, who died for me and is watching over me. He's always been there for me and I know in my heart and soul and everything that I am, that He will always be there for me in the future. I'm nervous and anxious, but one thing that I am not and never will be, is alone. Haha *looks up... sorry for the ridiculously long blog, guys... Actually, no sane person on earth has probably read this far so.. w/e. I think it's been a good year since I've done one though... so... *^_^* All right, I'm off to get ready for the Breaking Dawn Party at the Cascade mall tonight... midnight release party... I'm excited... this is one of the last things I'm looking forward to this summer that is not college related... I'm gonna get dressed up and ready when Emily gets here, and we'll head out... Anyone who did read this, I just want you to know that I really do appreciate your friendship. Maybe we won't talk everyday, maybe we won't talk every week... maybe it'll be years until we see each other again, or maybe we'll never see each other at all. But I love you, and I'll be praying for you always. We'll see each other in Heaven one day in the presence of the most awesome(totally awesome!) God. And it'll be amazing. Until then, have fun, be safe, and God Bless! I hope you're enjoying this beautiful summer we're having. <3) Fermatlove,
~Marinel *^_^* |
Alicia doing a Hawaiian dance...
Aww so sweet!
Haha... dork... 
